I'm Julie, The WordNerdGirl. I love to write. I've recently stepped back from writing and editing professionally after more than 20 years of work. Currently, I'm dealing with cancer, which I find extremely annoying, writing poetry and short articles, dabbling with painting and parenting my four kids.
Hey there! Long time, no blog. I haven’t posted in, like, forever… a lot has happened. Rather than get into it all now I’ll just let the story unfold in the course of writing. And what I’ll be writing is poetry for NaPoWriMo 2023. That’s the annual write-a poem-a-day-and publish event, which starts April 1st. I’m registering this site as one of the participants. Hope you’ll all join me as I pound bad poetry out daily.
Everyone who knows me knows that my biggest complaint has
been finding the time to write my stories and poetry. Four kids, other work and
deadlines always seem to come first. But the last few weeks, I’ve had a few interactions
that finally helped me realize that time isn’t the problem.
I’m the problem.
First, there was this:
Me (whining): “I don’t have enough time to write my stuff. I manage
to get the deadline stuff done, but only by constantly telling the kids to
leave me alone I’m working.”
Writer Friend: My writing time happens on my schedule.
Me (thinking to myself): Why can’t I do that?
Then there was this:
Un-Named Family Member Who Is Not One of My Kids: “You finished
work yet?”
Me: “I still have to do some writing for my story.”
UNFMWINOOMK: “Oh, so you’re done work then?”
Me: (thinking to myself): Seriously? Isn’t my writing work?
I overheard this...
One of my kids: “Mom still working?”
Another kid: “Nah, she’s just writing.”
Finally there was this:
One of My Kids (throwing a major guilt trip my way): “What’s more
important to you... your writing or your children?”
Me: (Out loud, because the guilt trip & general disrespect finally pissed
me off enough): “It’s not an either/or question! My work is AS IMPORTANT!”
Unless you have magic pants...
It finally dawned on me that I’ve been treating my story
writing like a favorite pair of blue jeans that didn’t fit any more. You love
those jeans so much that you keep doing that Shimmy-Wiggle, Jump-Pull, Zipper-Ripper
Yoga routine. Even if you finally manage to get those jeans on, by the time you’re
done, you’re exhausted and uncomfortable.
Sooner or later, you realize it’s pointless. You either have
to give up and get rid of the pants altogether, or change your routine to lose
weight so you can fit in those jeans you love again.
I can’t buy a new family. But I can change how I respond to
their attitude toward my writing. When they hassle me with repeated, “Are you
done work yet?” My answer is a simple, “No.” I now have a schedule for my
story writing, and I’m defending it just as I would if I were working on a deadline.
I only started actively using Twitter a couple months ago... April
15th, to be exact. I had decided that morning to start Tweeting links to the hastily-composed verse I was writing each day for NaPoWriMo –
National Poetry Writing Month. Then that afternoon, the Boston Marathon was
bombed, and I finally understood why everyone used Twitter to stay on top of
breaking news.
Lots of heroes came out of that day. The people who were
injured, the families who supported them, the first responders and medical
professionals who put forth every effort to help them and all of the everyday
people who stepped up any way they could.
As the weeks went on and that unreal week faded, I started
using Twitter the way everyone else does: I sent out links to my blog. I was
always pleasantly surprised when people I didn’t know followed me back. I
couldn’t get over that complete strangers liked what I was putting out there. I
went from thinking “Eh, maybe I’ll do this, but I don’t think anyone is going
to really care about what I have to say” to “Yes! I can do this!”
And I followed people. I looked for people I admired – many
my favorite writers: Judy
Blume, Mike Birbiglia, Steve Martin, Joss Whedon, Jane Espenson and Armistead Maupin to name a few. For one reason or another, their work really stuck with
me throughout my life. They’re just a few of the writers I always aspired to
be. They made me say to myself, “I wish I could write like that.”
When you follow a famous person on Twitter, you don’t really
expect them to follow back.
And then one did.
Weekend warriors & writers
The day before, I had arranged for my sons to meet an
athlete named Chris Wilczewski. He is competing in “American Ninja Warrior,” which
just started airing its new season on TV this week. My boys, ages 11 and 7, are
ANW addicts and have been for the last three years. My older son is a walking
“Sasukepedia” (the show originated in Japan as “Sasuke.”)My younger son keeps
playing Parkour in the house... out of the house... on the house. I’m the “Mom
Always Says DON’T PARKOUR IN THE HOUSE!” mom.
My younger son is literally climbing our walls
When I learned Chris -- who was a finalist in last year’s ANW
competition -- also ran a parkour gym not far from our home, I made it my
mission to find a way to afford summer camp there for both boys. This year, we
managed it. And when we told them the big news –they would get to go to a
Ninja Warrior summer camp for a whole week, and meet their “hero” Chris
Wilczewski! -- it was like Christmas morning on their birthdays in DisneyWorld.
Here’s a taste of how they reacted:
"Woof woof!"
Honestly, I thought they were
being a little silly. My younger son is a natural athlete, so his
enthusiasm makes something resembling sense. But my older son is on the autism
spectrum and has a number of physical limitations that make athletics
difficult. I couldn’t get why – of all the sports and TV shows in the world –
this bizarrely difficult obstacle course full of hard-core athletes and
free-running competitors -- this
had become his dream-come-true.
Then, the day after I took the boys to meet Chris and sign them up
for camp, it was maybe a week after I had finished writing my last NaPoWriMo poem.
I was doing my normal Sunday night writing assignments when a “bloop” noise
blooped on my phone:
@ArmisteadMaupin is now following you on Twitter.
My brain exploded. Seriously? Really? Me? I had fallen in
love with Maupin’s Tales of the City series so much that I went to San
Francisco right after college hoping to land a job. I hoped to find the
real-world locale for the fictitious Barbary Lane rooming house. I hoped my
mood ring would turn blue, just like Mary Ann Singleton’s.
Even though I know better than to read too much into a
simple Twitter follow, I couldn’t help but allow myself to consider the
possibility that, for whatever reason, this writer I’ve admired my entire adult
life decided in the second it takes to click “Follow” that he wouldn’t mind if my Tweets showed up on his newsfeed once in a while.
It was a small, silly thing. But I admit it. I went “Squee!” anyway. Or as my younger son put it, "Woof Woof!"
Find your own people
That same night, my older son, came up
to me to say thank you – again. I finally asked him why it meant so much to him.
His words, word-for-word:
“Because now I’ve been accepted as a Ninja Warrior and I know that I
can overcome anything and realize my dreams.”
Boom!
It was the “accepted” that got me. For the past three years,
he had been the only person he knew (besides his younger brother) to love this
weird “American Ninja Warrior” competition no one had ever heard of before. For
his whole life, he had always been the quirky kid with a hard time controlling
his behavior, who was slower than the other kids, not as strong as the other
kids. But now, he’d met his hero. He’s met other people who share his passion.
He's seen first-hand how he can contribute. He knows he can design obstacle courses. He can provide intel to the athletes about courses and success rates on obstacles. He can coach and cheer on other competitors. He’s part of
something now. He’d been accepted.
.
My older son giving Chris a bear hug
on the last day of his "Ninja" camp.
By hearing how my son finally felt “accepted,” I realized how surrounding yourself with the type of person – or writer -- you aspire to be can make all the difference. Your people – your role models, your heroes – are the people who encourage you when you lack confidence, who make you feel less alone when you’re struggling, who show you by the work that they produce how you can do it yourself.
I’ve had so many false starts writing my own stories over the years. Outright failures and frustrations. I'd worked as a writer all my life, but when it came to writing stories -- stories of the fictitious, fantastical kind -- I was lost. I had actually given up on the idea of ever writing fiction, even though that had been my dream since I was 8.
That was then. This is now.
The big difference between then and now is that I've sought out my own people– a community
of writers. On Twitter, On Facebook. And my off-line, in-person friends. Without support from them, I never would have tried to write a poem a day for a month. I never would have felt brave enough to put my writing prompts out there to the world. And I might never have
had that tiny interaction with one of my “heroes.”
Because of all that, I've been thinking to myself that If I can
write poems everyday for a month... if other people are enjoying what I write... and if Armistead freakin’ Maupin is going
to follow me on Twitter, then maybe, I really can write my story.
And so I am. For the last month now. I started my novel. And I know this time I will finish it.
Dramatic tragedies like the Boston Marathon bombing always
bring out the heroes. Usually, when we go through the sad routine of telling
stories in the aftermath, we learn that the heroes were the people who were already
role models.
The people who run into danger to apply a tourniquet to a
bomb victim, or who donate blood to people they don’t know, who organize fundraisers
just because they want to help -- these the same type of people who, on a typical
day would give a non-athletic kid a chance to be part of a sport he loves; who encourage
friends and strangers to write the story they always wanted to tell; or they might
be “famous,” people who also take the time to acknowledge their fans in some small
way.
Writing work is mostly work done alone. But it doesn't have to be lonely. Find your people. Keep them close. Help others when you can. Practice kindness. Offer encouragement and acceptance of others who want to be like you.
If we do that, we can all be heroes to someone. -- WNG
PS: Life is just better when David Bowie is on your soundtrack.
It always happens. You get The Great Big Idea – or even just
a snibblet of The Great Big Idea. But it pops into your head while you’re in the
shower. Or while the kids are throwing jelly sandwiches at the ceiling. Or
while you’re dodging tractor trailers driving 70 mph down the turnpike to get
to work on time. In short, The Great Big Ideas almost never come when it’s
convenient to write them down. Lots of Great Big Ideas get lost that way.
I have a very good reason for commandeering this toy
from my kids when I'm in the shower.
I work from home while raising four kids. Before I did that, I
did the extremely long highway drives to
and from work. Every writer knows to keep a pen and notepad
handy at all times. But ideas don’t always come when it’spractical to put pen to paper.
So these are some strategies I have used over the years to
try to hold on to those great ideas I get when my mind is wandering to great
things to write about, but life – or dish-soaked hands – are getting in the way
of letting me write them down. A lot of
my new favorite tools center around my iPhone, which I just got a few months
ago (Hello, my name is Julie and I’m a late-adopter.) But when I can’t find the
traditional paper & pen/pencil, I’ve used everything from children’s toys to
music earworms to remember my ideas for later. So here are some things I
do to hold on to my creative ideas while on-the-go:
1) - Camera phone
This is my new best friend. My Camera Roll is part-photo
album, part writer’s notebook. When I’m on Twitter, if I see a phrase that
sparks an idea, I take a screenshot so I can go back later and remind myself of
what I wanted to write. A couple of times, I’ve written whole poems just based snibs
of phrases I found on my Twitter feed. When I’m out walking, if I see something
cool that I think might make a good poem, that’s a snapshot for later. Having the photo right in front of me while writing brings back way more of the original inspiration, and helps write specific details of what I had in mind.
2) - Phone Notes/Recorded Notes
I don’t know about Android phones, but my iPhone came
pre-installed with a little yellow Notepad app. When I can’t find my pen and
paper, I go in and bang out the idea in the touchscreen for later. (Cursing Autocorrect a lot in the process.) I have a ton of notes in there.
I’m not big on voice recordings, but if that works for you, speak your piece
into your phone's Voice Memos app so you don’t forget for later. I’m sure there are other Apps out
there you can download (if you know of any, let us know in Comments) but the
pre-installed iPhone apps have been working for me. Love 'em.
3) - Magna-Doodles!!
If you have never heard of this toy, it is The! Best! Toy! In!
The! World! – For Writers! It has a large plastic, water resistant writing
surface and a magnetic pen. It’s portable. And the reason it’s great for
writers is because you can keep it in the bathroom! Or next to the kitchen
sink. It doesn’t get soggy like paper. And there are no electronic components to get wet!
So if you have a brilliant thought with a head full of suds, just grab the
Magna-Doodle, jot down your notes, and get back to enjoying your shower.
They’re also portable, come in different sizes. And they’re fairly cheap, so
you can buy several, and keep one in the car for you and still have another your
kids can play with. Just make sure you transfer your notes onto something more
permanent before your kids come along and erase it.
4) - Earworms
If you come up with a great idea... and have no way of
recording it, this is one of those rare, rare times you’ll be glad for earworms
– those annoyingly-memorable songs that get stuck in your head. Mine is “Livin’
La Vida Loca.” I don’t really like the song. I just wrote down the name and now, dammit!
– I’m going to have Ricky Martin in my head for the rest of the day now, no
matter what I do. So, when you’re stuck, sing your Great Idea to the tune of an
earworm until you can get it written down. It will be annoying, but isn’t it
worth having a little “upside-inside-out” in your head for a day (or whatever
song is the earwormiest song for you) if it’s for the worthy cause of keeping
hold of your creative idea?
If you have tactics for holding onto your creative ideas
when you’re on the go, I’d love to hear them. Share in the comments. Or drop an
email. -- WNG
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