Limericks with Friends
Normally, I put my "Notes on the Poems" at the end, but this requires a little explaining. I had the wacky idea of asking my Facebook friends throw me the first lines of limericks. "There once was a ______ from _____." I had to take whatever they gave me and write from there.
I was a little nervous about this. But my rules for writing the limericks were sort of like the rules I learned when I took my improv classes a couple years ago: Always go into it accepting what's given as "Yes, and..." Then early on, when I was getting very stuck and wondering what I got myself into, I suddenly remembered what the great Kelly Jennings said in one of those improv classes -- to really listen to what was being offered in those first two lines, because that's giving you everything you need to write the whole poem. After that, it was just a matter of taking it and plowing through to the end. My other rule was to go with the first limerick that worked, and then move on. So quality varies wildly -- but there are some doozies here.
The most important thing is that it was a lot of fun including my friends -- many of them very poetry-averse. It was a chance to be silly together. So here's all the work we did. Let us know what you think:
In no particular order, a big THANK YOU to my fellow poets...
Group Participation Rhymes
|Sometimes, a steak isn't just a steak...|
There once was a monkey from Saturn
Disguised as a cross-dressing slattern.
If you lifted her dress,
As I’m sure you can guess,
You’d find a banana – and know you’d been burned.
--With Cheryl Z
There once was a girl from Philly
Her man’s cheesesteak was quite limp and chilly
He said he could make it bigger
With some long rolls and hot ‘Whizzer
But she said “Forget it man. That thing’s just plain silly.”
--With Christine B
There once was a woman from Oz
With green skin and a gigantic schnozz.
They called her a witch,
But I’m down with that bitch.
The best beauties are always outlaws!
|Grant this ass the serenity ...|
--With Sherry D
There once was a pig from Pigtown
The one whose brick house didn’t blow down.
He’s now quite a ham.
Cashing in – ‘cause he can,
With a reality show called “The Wolf Hound.”
--With Carol B (Mom)
There once was a donkey from Brazil,
A heavy drinker from Rio to the hills.
The view was bucolic,
But this poor ass-a-holic
Need the 12 Steps to strengthen his will.
--With Michael C. B (Dad)
There once was a man from Peru
His best friend was an odd kangaroo.
It knew how to make tacos,
And some mean home-made nachos,
But oddest of all – it said Moo!
+++With Noreen B
There once was a Laugh Club from Jamesburg.
What’s that? Perhaps you have not heard.
It passes for yoga
But there’s no dog poses for ya
Just good times – now go spread the word.
--With Mary C
There once was a swimmer from Reno
He grew gills and his name was Geno.
He stayed in the lake.
Why? For goodness’ sake!
He lost his swim trunks while playing Keno.
--With Linda G
An exhausted mom from housework hell
Was fed up, so she put her house up to sell.
Now she’s resting on beaches
Far from kids’ lazy reaches.
So listen up children – clean your toys up real well!
+++--with Catherine M
There was a pole dancer from Antarctica
|Do not try this move while pole dancing|
After watching “A Christmas Story”
(I warn you – this end’s kind of gory)
She wound up in surgery for her uvula.
--with Jenn M
There once was an elephant from the circus
Who slipped on butter that was left there on purpose.
It was quite a mess.
Quite the worst, I confess,
When the poor thing made soup of the tortoise.
--with Linda B
There once was a girl from South Jersey
Whose big hair had gone limp and quite dirty
She did what true Jersey girls do
Hit the Boardwalk – Wouldn’t you?
Windy hair at the Shore’s always purty.
There once was a guy from South Dakota
Who hit the road in a beat up Toyota
He didn’t get very far,
Now he’s hitch-hiking south on to Iowa.
--with Dewie S, for Ken S.
There once was a guy from NOLA
And he loved “laissez les bon temps rouler.”
I know he’s a good guy.
My friends all say so, that’s why.
Hope we meet someday so I can buy him a cola.
(with rum in it!)
(with rum in it!)
--With Emily V
There once was a Directioner from Narnia
Whose obsession gave her mom quite the hernia
So mom got her revenge
When in front of her friends,
She screamed “I’M AN OLD WOMAN HERE’S MY PANTIES ‘CAUSE I’M A DIRECTIONA’”
--With Samm S
There once was a chick from Berlin
Who drank a stein full of rum mixed with gin
Who was wearing a girdle
It was a wicked wild night full of sin.
(c) Julie Bartha-Vasquez, 2013
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